Let us Dine, Drink and be Merry!!
19 October 2009: 3rd edition
I never truly believed that, other than fine wines, some things get better with age. That is, until I tasted some authentic Cougar Cooking!
As I entered Cathy’s luxurious pad, Lauren magically appeared, and with a seemingly innocent grin, thrust a welcome glass of peach champagne into my hand before I could even put my handbag down.
Taking a sip, I enjoyed the mixture of fruit and alcohol slide down my parched throat. But just as that warm and nostalgic feeling washed over me, my feeling of bliss was interrupted by a plate of mini pizzas being shoved in front of me. Looking up, I found myself face to face with that innocent grin again. ‘Eat one!’ the voice commanded. Out of fear and fear alone, I popped one into my mouth. The grin turned into a smirk of satisfaction and then disappeared off to force feed the next victim,
Then we waited…and waited. The starter was ready but there was something missing. We could not figure out what, until we realised that, aside from my story of [XXXX], nobody was talking about work…DAVE! We were missing Dave – well, Mark as well, but we had since come to realise that we were at the bottom of Mark’s friend food chain.
Dave finally arrived a couple of hours late and the starter was brought out. A very interesting and spicy concoction of eggplant, bread, somethingerather and dates wrapped in blackened bacon (although Dave is to blame for that one) was plopped in front of us. Hmmm…our eyes dart about- what is this odd brown concoction? But pretty soon, many were crying out for more and Cathy was only happy to oblige.
Then the main course came and the race began. Kiran wolfed it down the fastest. I came in a close second. Shots of lemoncello followed, which in my opinion were slightly chavvy (English white trash). Cultured people sip lemoncello, but hey, I would not expect such refinement from Lauren and Cathy. We slugged it down.
And then the desert!!! Ice cream cake!!! I saw a flash of that innocent grin again.”You love ice cream cake don’t you?” wink..wink. The grin is talking to me. I am stunned. Are they trying to manipulate the CDM critic? Surely Cathy and Lauren are not that manipulative, right?? [Pause here for effect]
But at this point, I didn’t care and inhaled my piece before turning to my left, savagely attacking Al’s delectable piece and then demanding sloppy seconds.
Sitting back I felt completely satisfied, well not completely satisfied – I mean Cathy and Lauren’s food could not satisfy all of my needs, and I am not sure [XXXXX].
But then, I saw it. The infamous football; the very same one that had provided us with so much entertainment on the greatest ‘Sunday Funday’of all time. I couldn’t resist and jumped out of my seat to join Cathy and show off our fantastic American football skills. Then Faith joined, and after my training, she was able to perform the perfect ‘hike’. But even with all the game playing I could feel the “Fun” level wavering. In an unselfish move, I began to dance.
And dance I did, dancing like I had never danced before. I kicked, shook my booty, elegantly swung about the room, flailing my arms with football in hand for dramatic effect. My majestic moves seized the attention of the party, saving it from an imminent disaster of boredom.
Finally worn out, I crashed onto the couch and exhausted from the night’s activities, mentioned I was going to go home. Surprisingly, everyone else jumped at my suggestion as if they had been eagerly waiting for an excuse to leave. We piled into the cabs and away we went.
Alas, the next day, it became quite clear that Cathy and Lauren had not read my previous newsletter. Either that or they did not pay heed to my Security Warning as their guests were not thoroughly searched prior to their departure and another theft took place. This time- the culprit was the unsuspecting Ms. Faith Karp in the living room, with the candlestick, who absconded with Cathy’s camera.
But aside from the thievery, the night was a big success. The food was delicious, the company superb and everyone was happy and full of wine. Now, I would like to end this newsletter’s 3rd edition with at least one memorable and exquisite image of the night that captures the essence of true perfection….My firm arse!
Don’t forget the Grand Finale is coming up..and I can say with complete honesty that I am really feeling the pressure but I am most certainly up to the challenge. I just hope my partner shows up before desert.
Sunday 1 November
Start time: 6:00ish
Where: [XXX]
But before I sign off, I do have one burning question: Just who did order that Chinese food?
Sincerely,
19 October 2009: 3rd edition
I never truly believed that, other than fine wines, some things get better with age. That is, until I tasted some authentic Cougar Cooking!
As I entered Cathy’s luxurious pad, Lauren magically appeared, and with a seemingly innocent grin, thrust a welcome glass of peach champagne into my hand before I could even put my handbag down.
Taking a sip, I enjoyed the mixture of fruit and alcohol slide down my parched throat. But just as that warm and nostalgic feeling washed over me, my feeling of bliss was interrupted by a plate of mini pizzas being shoved in front of me. Looking up, I found myself face to face with that innocent grin again. ‘Eat one!’ the voice commanded. Out of fear and fear alone, I popped one into my mouth. The grin turned into a smirk of satisfaction and then disappeared off to force feed the next victim,
Then we waited…and waited. The starter was ready but there was something missing. We could not figure out what, until we realised that, aside from my story of [XXXX], nobody was talking about work…DAVE! We were missing Dave – well, Mark as well, but we had since come to realise that we were at the bottom of Mark’s friend food chain.
Dave finally arrived a couple of hours late and the starter was brought out. A very interesting and spicy concoction of eggplant, bread, somethingerather and dates wrapped in blackened bacon (although Dave is to blame for that one) was plopped in front of us. Hmmm…our eyes dart about- what is this odd brown concoction? But pretty soon, many were crying out for more and Cathy was only happy to oblige.
Then the main course came and the race began. Kiran wolfed it down the fastest. I came in a close second. Shots of lemoncello followed, which in my opinion were slightly chavvy (English white trash). Cultured people sip lemoncello, but hey, I would not expect such refinement from Lauren and Cathy. We slugged it down.
And then the desert!!! Ice cream cake!!! I saw a flash of that innocent grin again.”You love ice cream cake don’t you?” wink..wink. The grin is talking to me. I am stunned. Are they trying to manipulate the CDM critic? Surely Cathy and Lauren are not that manipulative, right?? [Pause here for effect]
But at this point, I didn’t care and inhaled my piece before turning to my left, savagely attacking Al’s delectable piece and then demanding sloppy seconds.
Sitting back I felt completely satisfied, well not completely satisfied – I mean Cathy and Lauren’s food could not satisfy all of my needs, and I am not sure [XXXXX].
But then, I saw it. The infamous football; the very same one that had provided us with so much entertainment on the greatest ‘Sunday Funday’of all time. I couldn’t resist and jumped out of my seat to join Cathy and show off our fantastic American football skills. Then Faith joined, and after my training, she was able to perform the perfect ‘hike’. But even with all the game playing I could feel the “Fun” level wavering. In an unselfish move, I began to dance.
And dance I did, dancing like I had never danced before. I kicked, shook my booty, elegantly swung about the room, flailing my arms with football in hand for dramatic effect. My majestic moves seized the attention of the party, saving it from an imminent disaster of boredom.
Finally worn out, I crashed onto the couch and exhausted from the night’s activities, mentioned I was going to go home. Surprisingly, everyone else jumped at my suggestion as if they had been eagerly waiting for an excuse to leave. We piled into the cabs and away we went.
Alas, the next day, it became quite clear that Cathy and Lauren had not read my previous newsletter. Either that or they did not pay heed to my Security Warning as their guests were not thoroughly searched prior to their departure and another theft took place. This time- the culprit was the unsuspecting Ms. Faith Karp in the living room, with the candlestick, who absconded with Cathy’s camera.
But aside from the thievery, the night was a big success. The food was delicious, the company superb and everyone was happy and full of wine. Now, I would like to end this newsletter’s 3rd edition with at least one memorable and exquisite image of the night that captures the essence of true perfection….My firm arse!
Don’t forget the Grand Finale is coming up..and I can say with complete honesty that I am really feeling the pressure but I am most certainly up to the challenge. I just hope my partner shows up before desert.
Sunday 1 November
Start time: 6:00ish
Where: [XXX]
But before I sign off, I do have one burning question: Just who did order that Chinese food?
Sincerely,
Your faithful ‘Come Dine With Me’ Correspondent / Hot Librarian / Exotic dancer / Aerobics instructor
