“Please have a seat.”
I lead him into one of our conference rooms on the 39th floor of our new 45 story Canary Wharf, London’s new and modern financial district, office.
He looks apprehensively around the room, taking in the plush surroundings and then at the gorgeous round wooden conference table and its seven chairs. He pauses, unsure of which one to take.
Sensing his uneasiness in a professional office environment, I casually offer him a specific chair near mine. Grateful for the assistance he mutters a quick thank you as he slumps into the chair, drapes his long, worn-out overcoat over his lap and clutches his cheap and tattered briefcase to his chest in a protective manner.
“Have you brought your CV with you?”
“Oh, yes, of course” he stutters and then proceeds to open his old briefcase and pull out a folder. A few awkward moments of silence pass as he shuffles through the papers looking for his CV, his hands slightly trembling. He finally finds it and slides the CV across the table to me. His dark eyes look up eagerly at mine in anticipation as I read through his CV.
This frightened and seemingly shy forty-something year old man holds a law degree, worked as a lawyer for many years in his home country, and was the former legal advisor to the president of the Republic of Congo as a member of the presidential cabinet.
Now, here he sits, sharing a table with a 26 year old woman who is reviewing his CV as if a teacher were reviewing the book report of a seven year old child.
Forced to flee his country, he now holds refugee status in the U.K., arriving in London approximately 6 years ago without knowing a word of English. The challenges this man had to overcome, I cannot ever even begin to imagine, and the challenges he has yet to face even more daunting.
Currently, this well-educated man is still looking for a job. After learning the English language and obtaining a certificate in U.K. refugee law he is now desperately seeking a paid job as a refugee advisor. I am here to help improve his CV and interviewing skills.
I begin the mock interview, asking the standard questions regarding his abilities, the necessary qualities a refugee advisor must have, and the challenges he has faced in his work as a volunteer as a refugee advisor.
The interview begins poorly. He is unsure as to how to appropriately answer the questions and is seemingly clueless. I quickly offer him suggestions, prodding him for examples and key “selling” points he should include in his answers.
However, as the interview progresses, his intelligence and competency soon become apparent. His eyes suddenly and self-assuredly fixate on mine. Through them I see the confidant and powerful man he truly was; trapped inside by a strange culture he was not accustomed to.
Listening to him speak, it was clear that his initial awkwardness came not from incompetence as a Westerner would immediately assume, but rather from a fear of the unknown and a sense of humility as he must rely on others to help him in his transition to this completely new culture and way of life. The frustration of this culture imposed prison is evident.
I wrap up the interview and we discuss some of the strengths and weaknesses of his interviewing skills. He politely listens, clutching his briefcase to his chest throughout the duration.
I am almost embarrassed to be offering a man, clearly about 15 years my senior and with an impressive educational and work background, interview advice. Even more so because I cannot imagine how humbling it must be for him to have to take advice from a 26 year old, as well as be so appreciative for it.
As he timorously shakes my hand and then awkwardly makes his way for the elevator, I cannot help but think that, regardless of the slouched posture, non-perfect English, and subservient way of speaking, he is one of the strongest men I have met.
Sunday 30 March 2008
Advice to London tourists Part 1
Do not talk loudly, especially on the tube.
Nobody wants to listen to you rave on and on about the 5 one pound bags of tortilla chips you purchased last week at Costco during their latest “5 for 4” deal, and then how proud you were of actually polishing off the final bag right before your trip to ensure you received the maximum value for your money.
Keep left
This of course does not apply to commuting hours, especially if you are trying to go against the current. During this period, rules are abandoned, chaos breaks out, and well, good luck.
As this can be confusing to many Americans, then, second best is to pick a side. Do not slowly saunter in the underground tube passageways directly in the middle preventing anyone from being able to pass you; this is especially important if you are horizontally challenged
Do not make a mad dash to the tube turnstyles only to suddenly stop right in front, block all others, and then spend the next five minutes digging through your purse, wallet, and pockets for your ticket.
There is a reason, the automatic announcer kindly reminds people to “Please have your tickets ready” again and again. This message is not directed at Londoners, please listen.
If you are feeling extremely adventurous and want to spot some true English people, do not come to West London. There are no English actually living here.
Best bet would be East London or south of the Thames, just remember your pepper spray.
This is not America. Do not expect good customer service.
If you are traveling alone and have nobody to talk to, get in a cab.
I have learned many a life story this way. Although considering the amount of money you spend on a cab ride, perhaps buying a round of drinks at the local pub may be the better as well as cheaper option.
If you are taking the tube to get to your hotel with a large suitcase, pack lightly.
Many tube stations lack lifts and nobody will offer to help you with your bags when faced with having to climb the stairs, heavy suitcase in tow. English men do not discriminate and as such, whether you are a helpless gorgeous females in stilettos or an 80 year old hunchback grandmas, they will merely push you aside. Consider yourself lucky if one even steps out of your way, an overly nice gesture on his part.
And lastly, if you forget everything I have discussed, please I ask that you at least just remember one word advice…and this is directed at the Americans.
Please, under no circumstance, should you ever wear white tennis shoes and a fanny pack when touring around London.. Don’t even think about it.
Friday 14 March 2008
Quotes of life
“Is it possible to belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time?”
“I have to admit. I did not exactly imagine that at the age of 30 I would be living in some old flatshare with a bunch of foreigners”
- English flatmate lamenting on how life doesn’t always turn out the way we imagined
“What are you doing for Easter weekend?”
“Oh, I am just going to pop over to Hong Kong.”
“You are a lunatic”- an English friend
“No, I am not. I am from California.”
Hmm, for some reason I cannot remember which crazy Californian he was referring (jokingly of course) to
“So, where are you from in the States?” – Irish colleague
“I am from California.”
“Right, ummm…so is that the West or East Coast?”- and who said it was only Americans who were terrible with world geography?
And again "You are from San Francisco? So you must be used to the heat"
- Chinese/English colleague of mine as we are discussing a potential move to China, and how I would love to go, but am worried about the hot and humid summers
"No, it is actually quite cold in San Francisco. I am not used to heat."
"Really? I thought it was really hot in Florida."
- And another point in defense of Americans
“I have to admit. I did not exactly imagine that at the age of 30 I would be living in some old flatshare with a bunch of foreigners”
- English flatmate lamenting on how life doesn’t always turn out the way we imagined
“What are you doing for Easter weekend?”
“Oh, I am just going to pop over to Hong Kong.”
“You are a lunatic”- an English friend
“No, I am not. I am from California.”
Hmm, for some reason I cannot remember which crazy Californian he was referring (jokingly of course) to
“So, where are you from in the States?” – Irish colleague
“I am from California.”
“Right, ummm…so is that the West or East Coast?”- and who said it was only Americans who were terrible with world geography?
And again "You are from San Francisco? So you must be used to the heat"
- Chinese/English colleague of mine as we are discussing a potential move to China, and how I would love to go, but am worried about the hot and humid summers
"No, it is actually quite cold in San Francisco. I am not used to heat."
"Really? I thought it was really hot in Florida."
- And another point in defense of Americans
Our perception is our reality
We all live in the same world. A world comprised of approximately 195 countries and 6.6 billion human beings; each one of us a distinct individual with our own views, ideas, morals, and beliefs. We see, smell, feel, taste, and touch the same things, yet derive different emotions and opinions on our external surroundings and the people within them.
We all think our way of life is the “right” way to live. We are normal, the rest of the world crazy.
Our interpretation of our environment is heavily influenced by where we are from, the culture we grew up in, and our interactions with the media, family, and friends.
I am reminded of this fact often living overseas and on more than one occasion a stark difference in opinions breaks out between acquaintances, a difference traceable to it solely being due to the fact that we simply grew up in different countries, each with a different cultural norm.
Now is not a good time to be an American living overseas and quite often I am introduced as “This is XXX, yes, she is American, but she is not so bad for an American.” It is as if the person performing the introduction must quickly need to justify why it may be acceptable to be in the presence of an obnoxious, ignorant, and arrogant American. This is, of course, not the opinion of all non-Americans…just too many.
I remember on one specific occasion, and this has happened more than once, I found myself being introduced using the standard introduction above by an English friend to a group of their friends. After striking up a good chat, and allowing them to get away with a few American jokes, I start to notice a few of them looking quite intently at my mouth with a strange fascination.
“Wow, you have really white teeth!”
And after enduring one American joke too many, as well as enjoying perhaps a few too many of my favourite English ciders, my logical response,
“No, yours are just really yellow.”
So, who is right? Are American’s teeth abnormally white? Or are English teeth really yellow?
Is your religion right, simply because you grew up in an area where that is the one practised?
What is beauty? Fat or thin? Black or white?
Is modern art really art? Does it incite creativity or absurdity?
Who are you voting for? Obama or Clinton? Republican or Democrat?
Globalisation? Good or bad?
And now back to the original question:
Question: Are my teeth really that white? Or only compared to those of the English?
Answer: We are both right.
All things are relative. Perception is reality.
We all think our way of life is the “right” way to live. We are normal, the rest of the world crazy.
Our interpretation of our environment is heavily influenced by where we are from, the culture we grew up in, and our interactions with the media, family, and friends.
I am reminded of this fact often living overseas and on more than one occasion a stark difference in opinions breaks out between acquaintances, a difference traceable to it solely being due to the fact that we simply grew up in different countries, each with a different cultural norm.
Now is not a good time to be an American living overseas and quite often I am introduced as “This is XXX, yes, she is American, but she is not so bad for an American.” It is as if the person performing the introduction must quickly need to justify why it may be acceptable to be in the presence of an obnoxious, ignorant, and arrogant American. This is, of course, not the opinion of all non-Americans…just too many.
I remember on one specific occasion, and this has happened more than once, I found myself being introduced using the standard introduction above by an English friend to a group of their friends. After striking up a good chat, and allowing them to get away with a few American jokes, I start to notice a few of them looking quite intently at my mouth with a strange fascination.
“Wow, you have really white teeth!”
And after enduring one American joke too many, as well as enjoying perhaps a few too many of my favourite English ciders, my logical response,
“No, yours are just really yellow.”
So, who is right? Are American’s teeth abnormally white? Or are English teeth really yellow?
Is your religion right, simply because you grew up in an area where that is the one practised?
What is beauty? Fat or thin? Black or white?
Is modern art really art? Does it incite creativity or absurdity?
Who are you voting for? Obama or Clinton? Republican or Democrat?
Globalisation? Good or bad?
And now back to the original question:
Question: Are my teeth really that white? Or only compared to those of the English?
Answer: We are both right.
All things are relative. Perception is reality.
Tuesday 11 March 2008
Blog Index
The purpose of this blog (firm trained me well), is to combine short, witty stories, random thoughts, pictures, travel plans, sentimental moments, and create a means simply to stay in touch.With that being said, you may not be interested in all posts, and I certainly don't want some of you to be reading down a post, waiting in anticipation for a punchline, only to discover this was one of those girly sentimental postings. As such, I have created the following index to simlify these readings in case you get a bit overwhelmed, as believe me, there will be more to come..
F- Funny short stories, well at least they are trying to be. If it isn't then let me know, as I must have referenced it wrong.
M-We all have those moments in life when something hits you. I don’t want to use the word “epiphany” as that sounds too much like the essay your English high school teacher asked you to write for your final project on the latest required book you had to read in class. But that moment in life, even if only for a split second, stops your breath and simply makes you think.
SS- Short stories in which I cannot promise any lols.
R- Random thoughts. Don't worry, I won't put all of these down. To be honest, that just simply would not be physically possible.
I- Random information.
F- Funny short stories, well at least they are trying to be. If it isn't then let me know, as I must have referenced it wrong.
M-We all have those moments in life when something hits you. I don’t want to use the word “epiphany” as that sounds too much like the essay your English high school teacher asked you to write for your final project on the latest required book you had to read in class. But that moment in life, even if only for a split second, stops your breath and simply makes you think.
SS- Short stories in which I cannot promise any lols.
R- Random thoughts. Don't worry, I won't put all of these down. To be honest, that just simply would not be physically possible.
I- Random information.
Disclaimer of Liability
As with all American things, I would like to direct your attention to the following disclaimer of liability prior to your reading of this blog.
#1: Please be aware that I write these posts keeping in mind that others may read them, and therefore try (key word "try") to make them somewhat entertaining. Therefore, while it is all true, I tend to put a very sarcastic twist on most of it, as is my nature. So, please do not find any offense to the following posts. If you do, then maybe we shouldn't be friends.
#2: For those of you who know me well, I have the attention span of a three-year old child and a pinball machine for a mind. I apologize in advance if I jump from one thought and/or event to the next. Please bear with me.
#3: For those of you who don't know me well, I really am a nice person..or so some tell me. So I hope I do not come across a bit strong. But do you really want to read a blog with the following: Today I took an airplane to Costa Rica. The woman I sat next to on the plane was very nice. We had an interesting conversation. The rainforests we drove through to the place I was staying were very beautiful. I am teaching at a school in Costa Rica. The children I work with are really great. Get the point?
#4: Yes, I do work. But I don't think you want to hear about my typical day of waking up at 5:30am going to work, sitting in front of a laptop for 12 hours doing very boring things, going to the gym, and then going to bed..often in a lonely hotel room, now do you?
#5 My intention of these posts is not to brag about all the places I have been. Believe me, living a nomadic lifestyle is a bit exhausting and often times I am even envious of those friends who are a bit more settled with their homes, friends, families, significant other, etc.
In the journey of life, there are many paths to follow, and it is a good thing we do not all take the same one. Always keep in mind, the grass is always greener on the other side.I am therefore not liable for any offense taken.I hope you enjoy!
#1: Please be aware that I write these posts keeping in mind that others may read them, and therefore try (key word "try") to make them somewhat entertaining. Therefore, while it is all true, I tend to put a very sarcastic twist on most of it, as is my nature. So, please do not find any offense to the following posts. If you do, then maybe we shouldn't be friends.
#2: For those of you who know me well, I have the attention span of a three-year old child and a pinball machine for a mind. I apologize in advance if I jump from one thought and/or event to the next. Please bear with me.
#3: For those of you who don't know me well, I really am a nice person..or so some tell me. So I hope I do not come across a bit strong. But do you really want to read a blog with the following: Today I took an airplane to Costa Rica. The woman I sat next to on the plane was very nice. We had an interesting conversation. The rainforests we drove through to the place I was staying were very beautiful. I am teaching at a school in Costa Rica. The children I work with are really great. Get the point?
#4: Yes, I do work. But I don't think you want to hear about my typical day of waking up at 5:30am going to work, sitting in front of a laptop for 12 hours doing very boring things, going to the gym, and then going to bed..often in a lonely hotel room, now do you?
#5 My intention of these posts is not to brag about all the places I have been. Believe me, living a nomadic lifestyle is a bit exhausting and often times I am even envious of those friends who are a bit more settled with their homes, friends, families, significant other, etc.
In the journey of life, there are many paths to follow, and it is a good thing we do not all take the same one. Always keep in mind, the grass is always greener on the other side.I am therefore not liable for any offense taken.I hope you enjoy!
Life is an oxymoron
I am social and outgoing,
I am an introvert
I work well with numbers,
I love the written word
I want to go to the latest club and finest restaurant
I want to curl up on the couch in my oversized sweatshirt with a good book
I live an active social life,
I like being alone
I enjoy discussing global economics, finance, banking, and the markets,
I love describing the latest shopping purchase in my California valley girl accent
I begin each morning reading the Financial Times,
I finish my nights flipping through the latest Vogue
I love my independent, nomadic lifestyle,
I wish I had someone to share it with
I work in mergers & acquisitions,
I hate seeing a Starbucks and McDonalds in every city I travel to
I love jet-setting around the world,
I contribute to carbon emissions
I thrive on traveling and discovering new places,
I live a selfish lifestyle
I love trying to understand another cultures’ way of doing things,
I want my healthy cuisine and good customer service
I am proud to be born, raised, and educated by the State of California
I am frustrated with the direction of America
I am impressed with globalisations’ affect on raising a country’s standard of living,
I am saddened by the erosion of a nation’s cultural identity
I love religion for the moral support and comfort it provides
I hate religion for the ignorance and violence it incites
So, does this make me right or wrong?
Moral or immoral?
Am I intelligent? Stupid? Ethnocentric? Open-minded?
Surely, I cannot be both…or can I?
I am a living contradiction
I am human
I am an introvert
I work well with numbers,
I love the written word
I want to go to the latest club and finest restaurant
I want to curl up on the couch in my oversized sweatshirt with a good book
I live an active social life,
I like being alone
I enjoy discussing global economics, finance, banking, and the markets,
I love describing the latest shopping purchase in my California valley girl accent
I begin each morning reading the Financial Times,
I finish my nights flipping through the latest Vogue
I love my independent, nomadic lifestyle,
I wish I had someone to share it with
I work in mergers & acquisitions,
I hate seeing a Starbucks and McDonalds in every city I travel to
I love jet-setting around the world,
I contribute to carbon emissions
I thrive on traveling and discovering new places,
I live a selfish lifestyle
I love trying to understand another cultures’ way of doing things,
I want my healthy cuisine and good customer service
I am proud to be born, raised, and educated by the State of California
I am frustrated with the direction of America
I am impressed with globalisations’ affect on raising a country’s standard of living,
I am saddened by the erosion of a nation’s cultural identity
I love religion for the moral support and comfort it provides
I hate religion for the ignorance and violence it incites
So, does this make me right or wrong?
Moral or immoral?
Am I intelligent? Stupid? Ethnocentric? Open-minded?
Surely, I cannot be both…or can I?
I am a living contradiction
I am human
Sunday 2 March 2008
English Wonders Part 2 (F)
The English fear of dryers
It amazes me how the English would rather stuff their smelly damp clothes on little wire stands in the flat, wait days for their laundry to dry, and then endure the crusty towels and clothes that come out of it as a result, before ever even thinking of getting a dryer.
I made the error of even mentioning it once and was received with a mortified look, which then softened as this method of line drying clothes would just be yet another task for a proud Englishman to teach a foreigner the “better way” of English living.
I have yet to be proven that this is in fact the better way, but have come to the conclusion that the English fear dryers most likely because they didn’t invent them.
It amazes me how the English would rather stuff their smelly damp clothes on little wire stands in the flat, wait days for their laundry to dry, and then endure the crusty towels and clothes that come out of it as a result, before ever even thinking of getting a dryer.
I made the error of even mentioning it once and was received with a mortified look, which then softened as this method of line drying clothes would just be yet another task for a proud Englishman to teach a foreigner the “better way” of English living.
I have yet to be proven that this is in fact the better way, but have come to the conclusion that the English fear dryers most likely because they didn’t invent them.
English Fun Facts Part 2 (F)
Londoners go out for drinks more during the week than on the weekend
This does not mean they don’t go out drinking on weekends. It is just that there are more days in a week.
Always drink tea with milk
The English drink tea with milk. Anything non-English is considered “lunacy” and therefore even if you prefer your tea black, ask for milk. You don’t want to be viewed by the English as that “crazy foreigner,” do you?
This does not mean they don’t go out drinking on weekends. It is just that there are more days in a week.
Always drink tea with milk
The English drink tea with milk. Anything non-English is considered “lunacy” and therefore even if you prefer your tea black, ask for milk. You don’t want to be viewed by the English as that “crazy foreigner,” do you?
English Less Desirables.. (F)
My original title was going to be "English hates" which I found to be a bit harsh..therefore the following will be a series of those things noted which, shall we say, may not be the most pleasant aspects of London life.
But before I begin, to my English friends, may I please remind you to read the Disclaimer of Liability prior to continuing on. Thank you.
English coffee
I no longer wonder why they all drink tea.
Tube delays
Never fully understood this one. I was not even aware they had a schedule.
Warm, flat English beer
No explanation necessary
English obsession with mayonnaise
Lunch options at the deli usually consist of Prawn Mayo, tuna mayo, or chicken with mayo….I thought this was supposed to be the land of Grey Poupon?! I now understand why an English butler was forced to cruise through the streets of America asking random drivers for Grey Poupon.
But before I begin, to my English friends, may I please remind you to read the Disclaimer of Liability prior to continuing on. Thank you.
English coffee
I no longer wonder why they all drink tea.
Tube delays
Never fully understood this one. I was not even aware they had a schedule.
Warm, flat English beer
No explanation necessary
English obsession with mayonnaise
Lunch options at the deli usually consist of Prawn Mayo, tuna mayo, or chicken with mayo….I thought this was supposed to be the land of Grey Poupon?! I now understand why an English butler was forced to cruise through the streets of America asking random drivers for Grey Poupon.
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