Don't Ever Go to IKEA By Yourself (SS)

This is a really depressing moment for single people, well anyone to be honest.

After selling everything I own in SF and finally finding an apartment (4 months later), which contained absolutely nothing, not even lights, I had to make the dreaded trek to IKEA alone.

The Swiss only move generally 4 times a year, and I came in on one of the busiest weekends. Home decoration is not my forte, and only 8 hours later, I was at least able to find the necessities; couch, bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers etc. I had no car and asked for these things to be delivered. The guy looked at me and laughed, “You realize this will take over a month to deliver.”

“What? But I have nothing. I need this as soon as possible.”

“Hmm..well, I have this friend….” He picks up the phone, makes a few phone calls, speaking rapidly in Swiss German, turns to me and says, “OK, my friend will take you.” At this point, I am desperate and hey, this is Switzerland.

Heading to the warehouse area, I am armed with a stack of notes, leaflets, and order forms, and begin loading stuff onto the trolley. Struggling with the heavy pieces, I watch enviously as the myriad of young couples cruise by holding hands. It took 2 hours to load a trolley, pay, leave it at customer service and head in for more two more times.

I was very thankful for the friend of the clerk guy as upon my last trip, I found him already loading everything up into the truck. I hopped into the front and off we went to my apartment. He spoke no English, and me at the time (although I am not going to lie, it is still not so great), very little German and so we chatted/mimed a lovely hour long conversation trying to navigate through Zurich rush hour traffic.

I somehow ended up accidentally buying 2 beds, and one too many doors for the wardrobe (still boxed up and leaning up against my bedroom wall), which ended up taking months to put up. This was finally only accomplished with the help of some very patient friends. After numerous more trips to IKEA, a year and a half later, my place is finally “furnished.” Now I need to sell it all and start again. Anyone know someone in London who likes moving stuff looking for a girlfriend?