The Revolving Door; An Expat’s Life (M)

It is a Saturday night, I am in London, with several invitations to go out to various places and yet I am at home, alone. Glass of wine in hand, laptop, well on my lap, and the FT (Financial times) Weekend at my side, I have chosen to make it a relaxing “me” night.

I have been living in London for several months now, very happy with the decision I have made, and yet in this short time I have made and lost two friends to China and India, countries which are experiencing rapid economic growth, and while Europe and the US are about to slide into recession, are largely unaffected and whose economic potential is tremendous.

I feel almost a twinge of jealousy for those who are moving out there and able to experience and take part in the changing dynamics of our world economy, even more so because they will have the opportunity to experience a culture so completely different than the American or European culture we are accustomed to.

But then I have to step back and breathe. I mean, I just moved to London. I absolutely love it here, and to be blunt, the move was a pretty awful one. I have no intention of going through that again anytime soon.

So, being the FT junkie that I am, sitting here on a Sat night reading the paper, I pause at one particular article discussing the life of the business nomad. It was funny reading an article which so eloquently phrased my life, one which so many others also lead.

One social scientist was quoted “Home for these people (business nomads) is not a fixed place where one lives or the place where one originated but a set of social relationships that includes professional peers and family.”

However, I would like to clarify a few things as I do not necessarily agree with the above statement in relationship to who I am and how I live my life. I do have a fixed home. That is in Walnut Creek, California where I spent the first 17 years of my life, and where my parents still live. In addition, I “feel” at home in many other places including Utah, Barcelona, Vienna, Santa Barbara, and of course San Francisco, Zurich, and London. These cities offer physical places such as apartments, schools, stores, landmarks, etc. and most importantly that feeling when you first step out of an airport into that city, where you simply feel at home.

I do like the notion of how one can also identify a “home” as not merely only a physical location, but rather a set of social relationships that includes professional peers and family, which in my case extends to friends as well as acquaintances who may have entered my life for only a short period but who left a strong impression.

One person quoted in the article claims “I continue to travel because each journey triggers unique insights and adventures. I feel privileged to work with special people in special places.”

I could not agree more. Of course my experience extends well beyond simply work colleagues and my home away from home is not the room I am renting but the people surrounding me while I am there.

The friend of mine who is preparing for a 2 year assignment in India made a comment that he was avoiding new relationships prior to his departure and trying to “wipe his life clean” in preparation of his secondment (overseas assignment).

Perhaps it was misinterpreted, but I didn’t like the way it sounded. I have moved around alone quite a bit and have had to rely very heavily on many of the people I met along the way. I am so grateful for many of the relationships (and I am referring to all kinds here), regardless of duration or strength. I always look at moving around, establishing new relationships, and having new experiences as adding a new layer or dimension to your life. You don’t need to discard or avoid one in order to obtain another.

This “set of social relationships” does not necessarily make up just another “home” for me, but rather constructs a part of who I am. An expat life is a bit like a revolving door when it comes to relationships. People come and go, but each person passing by leaves a lasting impression, and that person exiting may always someday swing around and come back again.