People are what are most important in life

Inspirational speech for my public speaking course

Last Saturday night my cohort, my class section of 60 fellow classmates, performed the Walk-Off, a dance/skit competition against the other cohorts in our MBA class. It proved to be an amazing night. My cohort pulled off an incredible Michael Jackson performance, destroyed the competition, won the coveted Golden Egg and then danced until the place closed down,

However, these are all things that made Saturday night fun. What made the night truly amazing was how it was the one night in which our cohort became truly united.

It was amazing to see everyone’s hidden talents emerge and how everyone pitched in to do their part from dancing to presenting to looking hot in a sexy nurse outfit to running around like a child. And then we came together and turned it into a seamless winning performance. But what was even more amazing, was how close we became, how well we worked together, how we huddled up together in anticipation of the announcement and then how we jumped up and down, hugging any Blube in site upon winning! That night brought us closer together and that is what made Saturday night amazing.

But then I woke up Sunday morning, suddenly feeling sad. Just as we, as a cohort were truly bonding, this whole experience will be over in one week. I probably won’t have classes with some of you ever again.

We are already ¼ of the way through and the Fall First Year honeymoon period is over. We live a fast paced life: classes start, midterms finals, classes start again. We have, commitments, homework, projects- something due daily. We stress about completing the next assignment and studying for the exams. How often have you declined a social event or even an opportunity to spend time with a classmate or friend for school work – and was it always necessary? Reflecting on the Fall semester, what will you think of?

I will remember winning the Golden Egg, our awesome MJ performance, the European Mixer event, the Diwali consumption function and dinners with my study group, not because they were fun, but because participating in these events gave me the chance to really get to know and work with fellow classmates I had never had the opportunity to work with previously and I have learned a lot from them.

Don’t get me wrong, life is about balance. Classes and studying are necessary and we only have 24 hours in the day. We can’t do everything. Working hard is important and ingrained in all of us. But don’t ever lose sight of the fact that it is the people in our lives that create our memories, teach us our business and life lessons and inspire us.

So, as we get caught up in the internship search, our classes and finding a job, let’s not forget this. But this isn’t about just business school. In the real world working life, we get stuck in a routine, work long hours, spend too much focus on our work and not enough time with friends and family and pass up opportunities to meet some new strangers.

Apologies if I sound morbid, but often times when I found myself caught up working on a deal in which I was working until midnight, 1, 2 or 3 in the morning every night, cancelling social evening plans and then weekend plans just so I could catch up on sleep, I would remember what my mom always says, “Your company won’t be there at your funeral.”

Life is about balance. Already I have learned a lot more from the rest of you than I ever did staring at spreadsheets and power point presentations 12 hours a day. So, I encourage you, take advantage of your time getting to know people here but also make sure that upon re-entering the real world, you still take time for your family and friends and new people that bring a new perspective to your life. It is through them that you will find your inspiration.

What is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

What is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

Speech for Public Speaking Course:

Thursday November 25 is just 18 days away from today. It is the fourth Thursday in November and arguably one of the most important holidays in the US. – Thanksgiving! So why is Thanksgiving so important?

There are several versions about the origination of Thanksgiving, but they all stem from the beginnings of the white settlement of the US.

In 1620 a group, known as the Puritans who were being religiously persecuted sought religious freedom by sailing across the Atlantic on the Mayflower and settling in a strange, new place, now known as the state of Massachusetts .

The First winter was devastating and almost half of the original 102 pilgrims perished. The few that survived were helped by local Indians.

With better luck, the second harvest was bountiful – and the settlers celebrated with a 3 day feast with the Indians as a way of saying thanks for their help in that first brutal winter.

Today, Thanksgiving means different things to different people, but unlike most other American holidays, it is not about consumerism or flashiness.

For some it means eating lots of turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie and then rolling themselves into the family room to continue the holiday festivities by watching football and drinking beer.

For others it might mean the one day of the year in which family all comes together, which may be a good or bad thing. Bu regardless, t the one universal meaning that everyone shares is that Thanksgiving is the one day that we stop to give thanks to the things and people that mean the most to us.

We live such crazy busy lives that we take things for granted – I was suddenly reminded of this when last week, I found out my dad’s cousin unexpectedly passed away. She had four kids, ages ranging from about 21 to 31.

As we sit here tonight, they are at their mom’s viewing saying good-bye for the last time. I will be attending the funeral tomorrow along with my parents, with whom I am fortunate to have a close relationship with, feeling guilty over the fact that my cousins will not be standing there alongside both of their parents as well.

I am so thankful that I have my parents, I have my health and they have theirs. But in our daily lives, how often do we express it?

So I encourage all of you – whether you are celebrating Thanksgiving or not, to, on Thanksgiving Day, just remind yourself exactly what it is you are truly thankful for. If it is a person, tell them, if it is something, simply appreciate it. Because that is what Thanksgiving is truly about. It is about giving thanks.

So what do business school students do??

6:30am, the alarm on my iphone goes off. I hit snooze and roll over. It goes off again, I repeat the pattern again and then again. 7:00am, I finally roll out of bed, get ready and race out the door for the second day of our Career Management Conference. The day kicks off with a ‘Building your brand online’ seminar presented by Dan Schwabel, author of Me 2.0.

I then have a half hour break before my small group mock interviews so I head into the computer lab to print out my resume. I fire off an email to the VP Social of the European Business Club to request a meeting about the European Mixer event I am organizing in November and another to the co-presidents of the General Management and Strategy club to set up an informational interview, as I am interested in taking over their role for next year.

11:00am, I head over to the recruitment center. The place is full of my colleagues, suited up, resumes in hand and waiting for their interviews. Our interviewer, a second year career coach, brings us into a room and we spend an hour and a half being interviewed with instant feedback – I realize I have a lot of practicing to do in the next few months!

12:30pm – I have a study group meeting. Haas is providing free lunches in the courtyard so I pick one up, go to my suit locker to grab the massive roll of paper that is our final project for our Problem Finding Problem Solving class and meet my team – whom I love! We have 30 minutes to go through our roll and ensure our business model canvas and all our design thinking toolkits are included. There is a flurry of Crayola colored markers as we put on the final touches, laughing and joking as we work.

1:30pm I attend another speaker seminar – ‘Learn How to Sell Yourself’

3:00pm, finally a break! As I head into the library, a classmate stops me, “What are you wearing for the Jersey Shore party this Thursday?” We spend about 15 minutes going over the critical details of our costumes – these things are important!

I then excuse myself as I need to finish my journal, a final deliverable for our Problem Finding Problem Solving class. I quickly scribble out a few more ‘reflections’ about the various steps in the design thinking process we have been doing, draw a couple of pictures and rush off to meet my study team again. Tonight is the big night. After spending all of Fall A analyzing a start-up company, its current business model and then coming up with suggestions for a revised one, we finally get a chance to meet the founders, former Haas alum.

We had just learned that they had received an additional $10 million in their second round of VC funding! The company, which provides video ad analytics and serves as a platform to upload video ads on publisher websites, is now breaking even and expected to have $10million in revenue this year.

Now here we were, in a ballroom at Haas, packed with 250 students and rolls of papers displaying business models everywhere and the founders come in. Standing with the four study group teams of 5 each assigned to this company one of my study group members speaks up, ‘Shannon, you know the business model better than anyone. You should present.’ I am slightly nervous because I knew nothing about online advertising until this class and now I am supposed to explain to the founders all about their company and the market?!

I ended up thoroughly enjoying giving the presentation and the night turned out to be the highlight of my first quarter here at Haas. It was exciting to hear how a lot of the ideas we came up with, they had also thought of. They ended up staying for a couple of hours after the presentation and talking directly with two successful entrepreneurs was incredibly inspiring.

Still on a high, I headed to our local on-campus pub, The Bear’s Lair, where Haas students go every Tuesday. It was jam-packed as our very own, Jean Claude Van Band, were playing. People were already crowding in front of the band before they even began the first song. They were incredibly talented. The place was packed and we danced until 2am. Stumbling out in the cool air, I hear someone shout ‘ After-party at my place!” I am too exhausted and head home. It has been another amazing day at Haas.

Life is what happens when you are making other plans

People often ask, ‘Why did you move to Switzerland?’ So I figured I would write about it. Based on my post ‘Acting on Impulse’ you might think that it was my love for Europe that drove me there. Well partially, but not entirely. In fact, it was because I had spent time studying there that I actually did not want to go back.

Anyone, well maybe not everyone, who has travelled outside their home country becomes addicted, myself included, but for varying reasons. My personal reasons; mainly the sadistic pleasure of pushing myself outside my comfort zone, meeting new people and forcing myself to realize that there is a completely different way of living out there that my own culture and norms had never even considered. Not that I want to go move to a small village in the Andes Mountains and raise llamas, but I like seeing the world through somebody else’s eyes. You suddenly see unique details in the ordinary.

For professional reasons, this seed of desire was planted whilst studying in Vienna in 2002. The Euro had just been introduced and it was an exciting time – hey, this was a big deal! In my International Finance class, I had an Austrian banker, whose enthusiasm over the Euro was infectious. All of my classes had a European Union focus, and learning about Europe’s ability, or perhaps attempt, to cooperate under one government body fascinated me, especially when you consider the implications this has on the free movement of goods, services and people! The Financial Times Europe was like my version of a soap opera. May I remind you I was an Economics major and am now an MBA student so business and economic matters excite me? All that world drama jam packed in a few pink pages! And after having read the WSJ for so long with its US centric focus, I couldn’t help but having that ‘Oh shit’ feeling. I suddenly realized that whilst all this was going on outside the US, we were just puttering along as if events outside the US had no impact on us or our standing.

After learning all about Europe, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in the rest of the world. But at this point, I wasn’t going to find out because I had to head back to the U.S. to graduate and get a real job.

About a year and a half into my working career, I started to get restless. I was an auditor, how I fell into that profession is a whole other story, at a Big 4 firm and wanted to gain experience working overseas. Our firm had previously done an exchange in which our U.S. offices would send staff to Australia during their busy season (i.e. during their winter when it was summer, and therefore slower, in the U.S.). The firm’s recruiters had really sold us on the program until we realized after signing our offers that the program had been cancelled. I knew I wanted to have an experience like this, but didn’t even know where to begin to make it happen, so I did nothing - the worst thing you can do. But at least this time, I got lucky and someone else helped me get the ball rolling.

I will never forget that day, sitting outside with my team having lunch on our client’s patio on the bay and soaking up as much sunshine as possible before having to go back to the laptops for another eight hours of Excel spreadsheet misery. I mentioned to my colleague about how bummed I was that the program had been cancelled as I would have loved the opportunity to work in Australia.

My colleague, originally from South Africa and who had worked in New Zealand as well as done a three-month rotation in Sydney, simply said, “So, why don’t you?” My instant reaction was of course to repeat what I had just said – it was no longer possible because the firm had cancelled the program.

“Do you want to stay there longer than three months?” he asked. “Yes” I responded. “So why don’t you transfer there. I am sure they need qualified accountants” he suggested. And it was from this short conversation that I suddenly realized, and I have since put this lesson into practice many times, the importance of not giving up on something you are told is not possible – you just have to find another way. And I did; granted I had to try a few different ways.

The first approach; asking my firm to contact the Sydney HR office on my behalf to see if there was a need for someone at my level quickly failed. I waited months for the San Francisco office to get back to me, only to be told that our managing partner had made it a policy not to allow HR facilitate any transfers out of the SF office so as to keep staff in SF, and then I got a long speech about how I would be ruining my career in going overseas. I disagreed.

Second approach; after raising the issue with my South African colleague he fired an email out to his friends. As I watched the copied emails shoot back from London, Capetown, and Sydney I was amazed at the global reach, and finally, a contact for the Sydney office came through. I sent my resume over, and after an interview with one of the partners, received an offer. I had achieved my goal and was set on moving to Australia once I finished the last part of my CPA exam. But I never made it to Australia, and as of this moment, have yet to go.

One thing my father always told me was to always create opportunities, which I had just done, and to always ensure you have options. So when during the time I was waiting for my firm’s HR department to get back to me about Australia, my father rang me up and asked if he could send my contact details to a partner at a Big 4 Firm in Switzerland looking for auditors with my experience. I said sure – even though I had no interest in moving to Switzerland.

Life is full of coincidences and a month later, that same partner happened to be in San Francisco for business and asked to meet for a chat about me coming to work in Switzerland. I was very honest about my intention to move to Australia but figured I should at least listen to the alternatives. And listening to him talk got me thinking. Why was I going to Australia? What kind of experience was I trying to get, both personally and professionally? And so I agonized for some time over the decision. Australia would be fun. I could travel to places I have never been, live in a beautiful country, have the ease of living in an English-speaking country, and meet lots of friendly and outgoing people. Switzerland, now I loved living there, has a reputation somewhat of the opposite to that of Australia’s.

Cold, dark, people are conservative, and the Swiss language, Swiss German, is neither a written nor the most romantic of languages and is almost impossible for a non-native to learn. Everyone thought I was crazy to even be considering moving there over Australia.

Thinking about what I truly wanted; a completely different experience, working on a global client, preferably within the biotech industry, and with a global team –was only offered in Switzerland. Australia would be fun no doubt, but I wanted a challenge. In the end, I ended up applying to several other firms, taking a position at a competitor, mainly as they were able to offer me a role more I line with the skills I wanted to develop. And I had an amazing two years. So, next time someone asks me why I moved to Switzerland. My response? Because I was going to move to Australia.

Life is what happens when you are making other plans.

Did you ever dream of a white picket fence?

I am dreaming of a white picket fence, manicured lawn, and a four-bedroom, 3.5 bath white house with navy blue trim complete with an SUV parked out front, 2 kids, a perfect husband and a golden retriever. Isn’t that what we Americans all want? So how come I never dreamed of that?

In my most recent career advising session, one piece of advice I was given by my counselor, is that every six months or year throughout your career, you should take a hike or go to a peaceful location alone that you enjoy, and really take the time to reflect upon your career. Are you going in the right direction? Do you enjoy what you are doing? And of course the favorite question of all time – where do you want to be in five years? Ten? And is what you are currently doing going to get you there?

She has seen too often with her clients, many of whom are successful senior executives; suddenly realize they are not actually happy in their careers. Trouble is, you are so focused on running as fast as you can that you never step back and think, is this really what I want?

Whilst working, I knew that long-term, this was not what I wanted to do, but the problem was, you were working so much you never had time to figure that out. Thank goodness for business school. OK, I am actually probably busier than ever, but at least the activities that are making me busy are helping me in my pursuit to discover what my true goals are. And if you read my previous post, you would see I suddenly have a wealth of career resources at my disposal. But I am suddenly realizing that it is not so much the industry or function question that I am struggling to answer – it is what kind of lifestyle or even family life do I want? That should be the first question, then what company second.

Problem is, I don’t know. I envy my friends who have gone the traditional route and are content with it. Married, some with a kid, own a home and probably have a general idea as to where they will be in 5, 10 or 15 years, at least from a lifestyle/family perspective.

Right now, suburban life sounds like my personal nightmare – I need cities, with convenient holiday places and long vacations in the mountains of course. And I love working in cities, walking everywhere, bars and restaurants within walking distance; theatre tonight anyone? No? Symphony then?

So should I focus on getting a job in the City or make the sacrifice now to move to the burbs with the assumption that in five years time I will become a lulu lemon wearing young mom driving my SUV to the grocery store to pick up some fish filets to cook my family for dinner? And yes, what about being a mom? I don’t know how professional women do that balance – I cannot even look after myself!

So where is all that counseling for finding what our life focus is? I have taken multitudes of personality tests and career skill-scans which measure my competency skills and then match my desired job traits to possible career and industry options. But where does my personal life fit in all this? We are a generation operating 24/7 in which the boundary between work and life has blurred. We can no longer assess what we want in a career without first determining what it is we want out of life.

I personally think part of your career focus, should also include assessments on those simple everyday things like what you want your daily routine to be - and where. Do you want the traditional family life or the globe-trotting expat life?

I find most of the life / soul searching advice out there a bit on the fluffy side. A nice survey, backed by solid scientific evidence on its validity, that could dig deep down into my soul and unconscious desires to determine whether I love my current lifestyle because of where I am at in life versus that is just who I am would be extremely valuable – and THEN I could match my career goals. Does that exist? If so, pass that along would you?

Career Options: Are too many a good or bad thing?

Do you ever wonder how you ended up where you are in terms of your job choice or career? Were you born knowing what you wanted to do or did you just kind of fall into it? And once you got there, was it everything you thought it would be? Better? Worse? Even more importantly: Are you happy?

Gone are the previous generations in which you worked for one company your whole life. My grandfather started out as a salesman for a large pharmaceutical company and was able to climb his way up the corporate ladder into a senior executive position. My dad, after a couple of brief stints in his younger years, worked for the same company for 20+ years. And the women of these generations? You could either be a nurse, secretary or teacher – oh year, or a housewife. After a few years as a teacher in Utah and still single at the old age of 23, my mom, a born overachiever and leader , was frustrated with her limited prospects and so decided to load up her car and move West to California. She later became a court reporter, which I never could understand given her love for debate – it must have killed her to remain silent – but as she constantly reminds me, she never had the career opportunities I have.

So now here I am with a myriad of options. Seven years into what has certainly been a unique career, I am now attending a top business school and totally confused. One of the great ironies of business schools is that in order to get accepted, you have to write a well-written and focused essay all about why you want an MBA, your short term and long term goals, and how an MBA will get you there. Yet in reality, most of us don’t have a clue. Good thing business schools recognize this and therefore offer a ridiculous amount of career support services – or it could be that having a bunch of unemployed graduates ruins their statistics, but let’s assume the former.

In the eight weeks I have been at business school, I have seen four different career advisors, a career coach, held five informational interviews, and been to career service workshops on building a resume, how to network a conference and how to develop a market plan for your career strategy. I have been to a non-profit conference, joined the general management and strategy club, technology club, women in leadership club, health care club – the list goes on, and attended at least eight different company presentations. I have spent hours and hours researching different companies, available positions – both internships and full time and next week am attending a two day Career Management Conference which includes seminars such as how to build your brand and how to get into that industry or function. I have attended more networking events than I can count and as it is just 19 months until graduation, I need to hurry up and figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life - now! To make a career transition I need to start networking in that industry, taking on leadership roles in my extracurricular activities and planning my academic classes to focus on the end game, right?

I like the fast paced environment of technology, maybe I should be a product manager? The health care and medical device industry are only going to continue to grow at rapid speed, I don’t have a science background but maybe I could go into marketing? What about a strategic and business development role or even better, apply for a general management rotational leadership program? But in what industry and location? Big company or small? Who are my target companies?

In just one generation we have gone from few opportunities to an infinite amount of them. Of course, I should be sure to point out that I speak in relative terms, as I recognize I am one of the fortunate who is in a position to be faced with so many possibilities.

But I now feel just as paralyzed as my mother did many years ago when she, as an ambitious young woman, realized she had very few options. Only in my case, I now have too many. So, how could this be?

A few years ago, while I was living in Switzerland, I came to California for a visit. Staying at my parent’s house, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things on the shopping list. One item my dad had requested: whole wheat tortillas. Simple enough right? Well after spending the last year or so shopping in the tiny Swiss Coop supermarket which was about the size of two aisles in an American supermarket – or perhaps one in a WalMart, I experienced a sudden bout of reverse culture shock. In my little Swiss market, my options were limited. I knew exactly where everything was and I could be in and out in ten minutes. You want milk? There it is. An apple – you have red or green. After about a month, I became accustomed to the limited supply, found things I liked, and grew to be perfectly content with my purchases.

Now here I was in the Alamo Safeway, so massive they even have a Starbucks inside and drink cup holders on the shopping baskets so that all the young mommies can sip their fat-free soy lattes while browsing the aisles, and I felt overwhelmed. I couldn’t find anything! List in hand; it took me ages to find what I needed. Just as my patience was wearing thin, I came upon the tortilla section. White, corn..wheat! I grabbed a pack, but then looking back saw organic wheat, non-organic wheat, whole grain wheat, low-fat wheat, low-carb wheat, small, medium, large – and all the different brands. I looked back at my dad’s handwriting ‘Whole wheat tortillas’. But which ones??

Every time I picked one up, another caught my eye. Dumbfounded, I must have stood there for 10 minutes, drawing on every decision making capability I had in an attempt to make the right decision. All I needed were some whole wheat tortillas! I finally gave up, grabbed the nearest package and finished my shopping.

So, did I buy the right ones? I don’t know, maybe there were some better ones but I could not simply rip open the tortilla packages right there in the store and try them all. But the more interesting question; would I have been more or less happy had I gone into the store, seen just the one option for whole wheat tortillas and purchased them without having to have agonized over the decision?

So, what is the correct answer? Being forced to choose from a limited number of options under the assumption that there is nothing else available, or having so many options, many of which you don’t even know exist until you come across them, that your life becomes a constant pursuit after that desired yet unattainable ‘perfect’ decision.

I don’t really know the answer, but I am glad about one thing. It is fortunate I was born in this generation. I would have made a lousy teacher, nurse, secretary or housewife.

A lesson of Business School: Learning to let go and accept that you just can’t do it all!

Business school offers many valuable lessons – few of which come from the academics themselves. Surprising? Well, it shouldn’t be. What are the most valued skills required to be successful in business? Calculating the optimal quantity to produce based on setting price equal to marginal cost whilst operating in a perfectly competitive market? Maybe it is calculating 95% confidence intervals on our analysis of the effect of square footage of a house on its price? I don’t think so.

It is relationships, interpersonal and networking skills, working well with others and knowing how to make a decision. More importantly, in this day in age where we have every opportunity at our fingertips, it is the ability to prioritize, manage one’s time and realize that you just can’t do it all.

It’s 11pm – way past my usual bedtime, unless of course I am out socializing. But tonight, I am supposed to be studying for finals. Yes, finals. It still sounds weird for me to say. The only difference this time round is that grades don’t actually matter! Except tell that to a bunch of overachieving MBA students, and again, and again. Has it sunk in yet? Not during midterms (although I think I was a bit quicker than most), slowly getting there for finals, and judging by the second years, this concept will have been embodied in everything we do. Is it because they are lazy?

No. It is because every decision we make has an opportunity cost (my econ professor would so proud). How much value, or shall we say utility, do you get from spending those few extra hours hitting the books versus that received from going to that company presentation, meeting that recruiter, getting involved in that business competition, attending that speaker series.. the list goes on. Besides, you can read a textbook anytime you want – I am not going to a $50,000/year university to read a book and do the example problems in the back.

The opportunities to get involved in everything imaginable are endless, the choices a smorgasbord of every favorite food you have craved, and the plentitude of interesting people to meet like a wine tasting comprised of every varietal from every region – each distinct and delicious. I have yet to meet one who is ‘corked’.

Yet there lies the conundrum. This experience is similar to that of a kid in a candy store whose eyes are bigger than his stomach. In the first go, he tires everything until he is physically ill. Second time round, he remembers the consequences of his gorging and suddenly realizes he must be more careful and deliberate about his candy choices. His favorite chocolate is dark chocolate, so he won’t pick up the milk. And why was he eating Skittles – he doesn’t even like them, he was only eating them because everyone else was. Put them down!

And so goes business school. Do I want the milk chocolate? Yes. Do I want to do well on my exams? Yes. But do I like dark chocolate more? Yes. And do I want to be involved in the Innovation Challenge competition, member of this club, still make it to the gym, AND get a good night’ rest? YES! YES! And YES!

So, now it is 11:30pm. I should be studying but I suddenly felt like writing – something I love but have not done in quite some time. When I am 80 and looking back on my life, will I be reviewing my old exams or my writings?

I love all kinds of chocolate – can’t help it after 2 years living in Switzerland! But my favorite is dark chocolate. I think I will stick to that.

Come Dine With Me 4th edition

Is it possible that so much time has passed since that fateful night long ago in the spectacularly decorated Oktoberfest beer hall (aka 1 Salem Rd)? Yet how could any one of us forget the tragedy of 1 November 2009, and the grief that ensued.

Where my heart once was, a hollowness now lies. The throbbing ache of emptiness within my chest is a daily reminder of my failure, a pain so excruciating at first, that I have had to wait for the wounds to mend and the pain to subside before I could bring myself to write this Newsletter out of fear that I would be unable to hold back the tears and therefore be reduced to a sobbing mess.

So here it is, a reminder and description of what, in my opinion, was the greatest Come Dine With Me event of all – scored last because as Mark and I were stuck in the kitchen we were unable to woo the dinner party guests with our witty humour and charming personalities…

I present below the unbiased and truthful account of that tragic night.

As the German Oompa band’s Oktoberfest music filled the great halls. Frau Heidi and Herr Hans greeted the guests with a spirited “Wilkommen” and a shot of Jaegger.

Hefeweissen beers were brought out to wash down the pretzels, radishes, and cheeses laid out for the guests. Meanwhile, Hans and Heidi worked frantically in the kitchen to finish preparing the starter – a delicious salad, exciting the tastebuds but not fully satiating them, leaving them to cry out for more.

In a cruel twist, the next course was delayed. Unbeknownst to the guests, the chicken schnitzel was not cooking fast enough and the crappy frying pans we were attempting to use were blackening the chicken. Manning frying pans on all burners and busting out the ol’ reliable George Forman grill, Hans cooked as Heidi manically scrubbed each pan before it was reused until her fingernails bled and her wrist could scrub no more.

Alas, the effort was well worth it, noted by the murmurs of approval and nods of the heads of the guests. Unfortunately, it was quickly realised that plastic silverware + chicken schnitzel = inability to cut the large pieces of meat, however even the most intelligent people can not foresee all problems.

But then the grand finale came…Hans’ amazing Apple Streudal – a stunning success given the fact that this was his first attempt. So good in fact, that Alistair and Dave both thought it store bought. The Streudal quickly brought everyone’s tastebuds to a climax – and then suddenly people were stripped of all energy and intelligent thought. Everyone’s minds in a foggy wave of bliss, the guests could not think straight as they went, one by one, to the laptop to input their score for the evening’s meal and entertainment.

We then grabbed our sacrificial lamb, Mike, to announce the results. I felt confidant, exuberant, and excited as Mike read off fourth place – US??! But how could this be? Our food was excellent! Our theme unique! And our entertainment thrilling! I could barely hear the rest as Mike droned on…and the devastation set in – I, Frau Heidi, was last!! How could that be?

Although it was of no surprise when Faith and Kiran turned out to be the winners – I mean who can beat heart- shaped sweet potatoes??

And that, ladies and gentlemen, damen and herren, was the last night of Come Dine With Me.

I hope you all enjoyed Series 1 as much as I did, and I look forward to Series 2: Sunday roasts just as much!! – rules and guidelines to be issued shortly

Sincerely,
Your faithful ‘Come Dine With Me’ Correspondent

Frau Heidi