I am dreaming of a white picket fence, manicured lawn, and a four-bedroom, 3.5 bath white house with navy blue trim complete with an SUV parked out front, 2 kids, a perfect husband and a golden retriever. Isn’t that what we Americans all want? So how come I never dreamed of that?
In my most recent career advising session, one piece of advice I was given by my counselor, is that every six months or year throughout your career, you should take a hike or go to a peaceful location alone that you enjoy, and really take the time to reflect upon your career. Are you going in the right direction? Do you enjoy what you are doing? And of course the favorite question of all time – where do you want to be in five years? Ten? And is what you are currently doing going to get you there?
She has seen too often with her clients, many of whom are successful senior executives; suddenly realize they are not actually happy in their careers. Trouble is, you are so focused on running as fast as you can that you never step back and think, is this really what I want?
Whilst working, I knew that long-term, this was not what I wanted to do, but the problem was, you were working so much you never had time to figure that out. Thank goodness for business school. OK, I am actually probably busier than ever, but at least the activities that are making me busy are helping me in my pursuit to discover what my true goals are. And if you read my previous post, you would see I suddenly have a wealth of career resources at my disposal. But I am suddenly realizing that it is not so much the industry or function question that I am struggling to answer – it is what kind of lifestyle or even family life do I want? That should be the first question, then what company second.
Problem is, I don’t know. I envy my friends who have gone the traditional route and are content with it. Married, some with a kid, own a home and probably have a general idea as to where they will be in 5, 10 or 15 years, at least from a lifestyle/family perspective.
Right now, suburban life sounds like my personal nightmare – I need cities, with convenient holiday places and long vacations in the mountains of course. And I love working in cities, walking everywhere, bars and restaurants within walking distance; theatre tonight anyone? No? Symphony then?
So should I focus on getting a job in the City or make the sacrifice now to move to the burbs with the assumption that in five years time I will become a lulu lemon wearing young mom driving my SUV to the grocery store to pick up some fish filets to cook my family for dinner? And yes, what about being a mom? I don’t know how professional women do that balance – I cannot even look after myself!
So where is all that counseling for finding what our life focus is? I have taken multitudes of personality tests and career skill-scans which measure my competency skills and then match my desired job traits to possible career and industry options. But where does my personal life fit in all this? We are a generation operating 24/7 in which the boundary between work and life has blurred. We can no longer assess what we want in a career without first determining what it is we want out of life.
I personally think part of your career focus, should also include assessments on those simple everyday things like what you want your daily routine to be - and where. Do you want the traditional family life or the globe-trotting expat life?
I find most of the life / soul searching advice out there a bit on the fluffy side. A nice survey, backed by solid scientific evidence on its validity, that could dig deep down into my soul and unconscious desires to determine whether I love my current lifestyle because of where I am at in life versus that is just who I am would be extremely valuable – and THEN I could match my career goals. Does that exist? If so, pass that along would you?
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